I began my spiritual journey in the 1980s. My quest was simple. I wanted to be happy and have an abundance of love, money and friends. I read, took classes and studied with numerous teachers. I helped other people achieve the life of their dreams, but very little changed in my life until I began doing three simple things EVERY day.
Then, in a matter months, my entire life changed. I was amazed and shocked at how easily change occurred. I had worked so hard and seen little change, and when the floodgates finally burst open, it was spending a half hour a day that ended up making all the difference. That’s not to say the work I did prior wasn’t necessary. It certainly prepared me for the eventual exercises that would have such a profound effect. However, I can absolutely tell you that if I’d had access to and really grasped and used these exercises early on, I think I could have limited the struggle and frustration by a substantial amount.
Mirror Work
This one is non-negotiable. The intent of this exercise is to learn to love yourself unconditionally. If you don’t love yourself, then nothing, let me repeat that, NOTHING will change in your life. Once the basis of your journey is self-love, amazing things will happen.
Twice a day, for just a few moments, stand in front of a mirror, look directly into your eyes and say, “I love you.” The words alone will do little so first you must generate the feeling of love. Think about something that allows you to feel happy; the happier the better. I love animals, so if I think about a cute puppy, or kitten, I always smile. Think about a sunrise or sunset, a beautiful rose, a loved one, a Hot fudge Sunday, or a baby.
Generate that feeling of love and then look into your eyes and say, “I accept you and I love you.” Then feel it. If judgments arise, or what I call, “yeah buts,” deny those thoughts. Remind yourself that they are a lie and then again say, “I love you.” Do this AT LEAST twice a day. I cried like a baby the first time I actually did this.
Connect with Your Spirit
You are not that lump of flesh called a body. You are the energy that gives life to that body. Remind yourself of that often. You are a spiritual being having a physical experience. In a sense you are the breath that gives life to your body. Surrender to the guidance and love of your spirit. Let go and listen. I believe we came here to remember who and what we really and then have fun and enjoy the journey.
Find a way to feel connected to your spirit. You can meditate, journal, go for a walk in nature, pat a dog or hug yourself. There are lots of ways to surrender and connect, find way that works for you.
Nurture Yourself Daily
Never give of your essence only give of your overflow. We tend to get busy and forget to take care of ourselves. We get burned out, overwhelmed, stressed and just plain worn out.
Make a list of things that feel good, that nurture you and feed your soul. Then do at least one a day. There are so many things you can do. Read a book, mirror work, go for a walk, consciously breathe in love or peace or joy or happiness, get and give hugs, love, eat well, wear your favorite outfit …
Well, you get the idea.
Do these three things daily and your life will transform. I was fortunate to have an awesome man that kept me accountable.
On a final note, my coaching program is now opened for a short while. I have a few spots available. If you want to make some quantum leaps in your life and are willing to change your limiting beliefs, I’d love to work with you. You can find out more here…
It often only takes a few suggestions, some new insights and being accountable to shake off the last of those limiting beliefs. If it’s time for you to get serious about making big changes in your life I’d love to help. If you’ve been thinking about experience the magic and wonder life is meant to have that may just be the universe giving you a little nudge. It is time.
With love and aloha,
Susan
What are your thoughts about loving yourself unconditionally? Have any questions? Comment away, let’s start a dialog!
Hi Susan,
This isn’t what I expected to be on the list. I’m making a commitment right here and now to increase my mirror work. Can one ever love oneself in a healthy way too much? xo
Hi Tess,
I don’t think we can ever love ourselves too much. True self love leads to compassion, generosity and have enough love left over to share. Mirror work is an awesome gift we can give ourselves. Let me know how you make out with it.
With love,
Susan
I have loved following you and your teaching. I’m finding that it is the small things that just take a minute that make a big difference. I always wanted the one trick to fix all and I don’t think that exists. By incorporating a number of small seeming things such as flowers, plants/herbs, colors, sounds, smells, healthy foods …. together in some form each day makes me really happy. Thanks for sharing these beautiful gifts. Love, Todd
Thanks Todd and for me the magic bullet, so to speak, was doing the mirror work.
Aloha,
Susan
I am a person 82 years old and I still want to learn
I am positive and realistic with my life and enjoy every moment I can
What can you give me to be more happy and positive, what do you suggest
Thank you Jeannette
My suggestion is looking at yourself in the mirror and loving yourself. Then share the wisdom of your 82 years with the young ones.
With love,
Susan
I think that i do love myself but every morning i put myself down for something I didn’t do or need to do I will start the mirror exercises today
I find that any action I take gets me more on the road to happiness.
Getting to the point that we really love ourselves stops the judgment and that create such incredible freedom and joy. Perhaps when you do put yourself down immediately go to the mirror, apologize and then focus on loving yourself. Sing your praises while you look at yourself and see what happens.
Sending you lots of love,
Susan
I don’t understand the free process because I only have California Medi-Cal. I always lose maybe 10 lbs at the end of each month because i cant afford to eat. But becauseI’m always suicidal i have to do something! My brain is so broken, all these suicide attempts and seizures I’m useless! People hate me and use me and I just suffer. I am tired. Sufferingand suffering i just want to die. Oh god i want to die!
Do, actually do the three little things, retrain your mind and love, joy, abundance and all the good thing in life will show up in your life.
I know because I went from being depressed and suicidal to having a magical life full of love – just by doing those simple little things.
three very simple yet powerful things to do-thank you for the tip susan
My pleasure … I am working on some videos and more suggestions. Stay tuned.
With love,
Susan
Day two. When I do the mirror work I spend some time just staring at myself. Can’t quite focus and utter those three little words, it’s thinking loving thoughts that moves me along. Interesting. I think this is going to be good for me. Thank you Susan!
Just imagine yourself looking into the eyes of your beloved. Let yourself fall in love with yourself.
Lovingly,
Susan
Feeling extremely unloved and with that the feeling of being alone.
Going to start the 3 little things when i finished this email.
Feeling more positive than i did 5 minutes ago!
Thankyou.
Carolyn I can absolutely guarantee is you do those 3 things every day all of your feelings on being unlovable and loneliness will go away. As you learn to love yourself unconditionally your light will shine. The more you love the more love there is and before you know it there will be a lot of love to share.
I’d love to hear about the magic and miracles that occur in your life.
Sending you lots of love,
Susan
Hi just read this and your bit about feeling unloved i dont do the mirror thing but feel it would come easy 2 me i feel i do love myself but stil struggleing with feeling unloved by my other half Help?
If you really loved yourself another person’s opinion wouldn’t matter and you wouldn’t have people that don’t love you around. Actually doing the mirror exercise is very powerful.
With love, Susan
🙂 Thank you Susan 🙂
Big alohahug
Love love love – no matter what the question it is always the answer. And loving yourself unconditionally takes practice. And you can make practicing fun!
With aloha, Susan
Hello Susan,
I am doing the mirror exercise every day… At the beginning it was a work that needed effort, but now it became a habit. Actually, I realized that I like it and need it daily!
Just this evening I felt sad, thinking about my dad who died last year. I was alone at home and had nobody to talk to. So I decided to do the mirror exercise once more – the third time today! And I spoke to myself, hugged myself and calmed myself down.
I can see now that I do not need other people to make me happy – I have a lot of love that is enough for me to feel totally loved! Wow…
Also the exercise of breathing love came somehow naturally to me… I just thought that I want to feel loved even when I am not doing the mirror exercise. So I started breathing a love feeling during my daily activities. And it is a great feeling to feel loved all the time, without any reason…
Thank you for sharing these exercises 🙂
That is wonderful. So many people have resistance to working in the mirror and never do it. I am so glad you decided to do in spite of the feeling not to! It makes such a huge difference!
With a big smile, Susan
My biggest problem is I can barely look at myself in the mirror. When I do, I either see someone ugly or nothing.
I’ll give it a shot, but I’m not sure how I will do.
Seeing someone who is ugly in the mirror is related to not loving yourself. As you practice loving yourself you will see the beauty that is you. Loving yourself takes practice and ignoring the judgmental voices of the inner critic.
Give yourself the gift of loving yourself.
With love, Susan
My parents and brother have made me feel physically ugly and unloved over the years. My brother is still alive and making it very difficult to settle my parents’ estate after 7 months and, due to circumstances, I will never be able to completely separate from him. I feel like I am being punished by all the current problems and stresses as well as past resentments. I question what I have done to deserve this pain during this life. I try to be kind and good and to be honest with myself. I thank God for my husband who loves me unconditionally, but sometimes it is not enough. I don’t see how any of this is helping me grow; it just feels like punishment.
Focus on love – loving yourself and feeling compassion for your brother – do the 3 simple things each day and watch your life change. I do free 30 minute session if you ever want to talk.
With love, Susan
This is just what I needed in my life. Thank you Susan.
I am glad you found it ….
Sending you lots of love, light and laughter, Susan
Hi,
I was thoroughly enjoying that 3 little things bit and started to feel like there was some hope out there…. then suddenly I got down to the bit that said ‘ I was lucky to have a great man to keep me accountable!’
At this point I got irritated…
Can you clarify… so you have love in your life already?
I know it’s not about being single or coupled up but for people like me it is… so reading stories like this coming from people who have husbands or boyfriends or significant others immediately alienates me and makes me feel like (why are you complaining?) clearly you’re loved!!!
Am I being stupid???
I clicked on this article because I am actually desperate for some real practical advice… so telling someone they will not be able to attract love until they love themselves when you already have love in your life… I just feel sad and back to square one!!! Can anyone out there resonate with this?
The ‘great man’ was my mentor and friend not a love interest at all. He was married and in his later 70’s. He was a mentor who help me accountable in my journey to love myself.
I am loved, I have love in my life, most importantly the love I have for myself. Once that happens it is so much easier to attrackt a wonderful loving relationship.
You sort of jumped the track with your assumption. Start loving yourself and watch the magic start happening.
Sending you a warm hug and some loving thoughts, Susan
Here is a reply from the future! I feel like you did too Lisa – although 18 mths later. Struggling with another ending of another relationship that I questioned damaged and put up with. Once again I feel I am the major problem and unable to be loved/unloving/unlovable. Anyway I hear you. I hope you are in a great place now.
My favorite saying is only the love is real everything else is an illusion – makes it easer to love yourself and accept love
Radiating love, Susan