For more years than I care to remember my New Years Eve list contained some of the same items. Year after year I wanted to lose weight, stop smoking and have more money. Three goals that I knew would make a difference in my life.
After a while I felt like a failure. It was like this gray ooze just spread over my entire life. I felt like I was in a little movie called Pleasantville and my life was in black and white. I became suicidal (Obviously this story has a happy ending). I tried everything except what would actually work. Can you relate at all?
What did I do to become unstuck?
I made lots of small changes but the two biggies were:
- Learn from my past experiences (they were no longer failures they became events that didn’t have the outcomes I wanted but they contained valuable information that I could use moving forward)
- I focused on loving and accepting myself just the way I was!
Whatever you want to change in your life you can. You just have to come up with the right recipe. There is no need to suffer or to judge yourself. Make – “I am perfect just the way I am” your mantra. When you don’t get the results you want in your life you ARE NOT a failure you simply don’t have the right recipe yet.
I haven’t smoked for over two decades and recently someone told my I was too thin. I own a beautiful home in Hawaii and I have the privilege to help people find their own sweet spot and create the life of their dreams. I look back at all those years of depression and hopelessness and I realize I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
So love yourself and learn some new recipes. Well actually learn how to use your life’s experiences so you can find your own path to freedom, happiness, joy and the ability to have whatever you want when you want it. In hindsight I realized I always had all the answers. It was just that sometimes I didn’t know the right questions to ask.
Can you relate at all? Do you struggle with anything? Ever felt like a failure? I’d love to read about your stories in the comment section.
With love, aloha and lots of joy,
Susan
PS. Next week I announce the winner of the free Kindle reader.
PPS. Next week I open my coaching program for new members. If you’d like some help finding your own success,happiness, joy and passion let me know. There are only 4 spots available.
Stuck…you have no idea how that word hits me like an arrow being shot with such precision it pierces my heart into a million unamenable pieces. I have been married for 35-1/2 years and most have been riddled with drug abuse (not me), physical abuse and mental abuse. I’ve always held the family together, figured out the finances when my husband got fired from his myriad of jobs, paid the bills, raised the kids, cleaned the house, etc. He has turned into a Grumpy Old Man who finds no happiness in the world, no positive thoughts or words, always complaining about something, and now comes home from work to lie on his bed the rest of the day.
Now my daughter, her loser of a husband and my beautiful, wonderful, sunshine, amazing granddaughter all live with us. My daughter just lost her job, my son-in-law is on leave from work, my husband’s pay is hit and miss and he refuses to find ways to improve his pay or to pay bills…I have to fix everything!!!! I feel stuck because I don’t have the money to move and I will not abandon my daughter and granddaughter by leaving on my own. If I did my husband would kick them out on the street without giving it two thoughts. I am looking for a job in Oregon (I live in San Diego) and trying to find money to move up there, file for divorce and finish the end of my days on earth in a positive environment…but I’m stuck. I’m stuck living in my home I now hate, I’m stuck in a dead end, boring job, I’m stuck…stuck…stuck!!!
Failure, I feel like a failure at everything! I can’t lose weight because I can’t stop emotionally eating. I can’t seem to find a better job because I lack experience. I will get my MBA in HR in September but to get an HR position I need experience or certification which costs $5000 that I don’t have. So I pay all this money for an MBA and can’t even get a job in the field without the certification. So, I failed at changing careers. I failed myself for wasting so many years living in negativity and unhappiness because I thought it was what my children wanted…I failed respecting myself…I failed loving myself…failed…failed…failed!!!
Wow, what a story. Loving yourself is a choice and one I would make for yourself right now. love, love, love and then use your history as an opportunity to create a life filled with love. You can do it. I know you can.
With love and a knowing, Susan
i loved this Susan, it relates to many people what you write, you write this so nicely too and in a such a very hopeful way, there is always hope for everyone
Change is always possible. glorious happiness is just a thought away. Thanks Zaneta.
With love, Susan
Thank you dear Susan for re-minding day after day 🙂
Lots of love and a big hug from Belgium
xxx
As I read your comment I had a thought re-minding. It really is simply a matter of re-minding ourselves to choose love, replacing our limiting thinking with love.
I love it re-minding.Thanks Nikki.
With a big smile, Susan
My 15-year old daughter is in the living room, my 18-year old son also and he make a lot of noise on the piano. He’s a very good musician. I’m too in the living room behind the laptop and I can’t work this way. I become angry inside of all the disturbing. I realised what’s happening into my mind. I have to wait till they are finished and enjoy their presence. I feel a little bit better. I have to change my thoughts about this situation. I start reading Susan’s mail.
I love me, I love me, I love me, I love me.
I love me is definitely the way to go. It is never the situation that upsets us it is always what we are telling ourselves about the situation. Nice things about laptops we can take them to a coffee shop or another room too.
Sending you lots of love, Susan
Susan,
I have so much to say! I began typing a reply… And I began to see my life in a new way. I may have stumbled upon a little answer for part of the direction I need right now. I have become much better at loving myself…can use much more improvement and direction, but, I also just see now what was negating how I loved my husband how I loved from fear and need, not fullness. No idea how to unstick myself as a writer. I know (at this moment) the hurt I experience is directly related to the need to change and grow in how I love myself (I need to flourish here), and then transform in how I love others (from fullness, not fear and need)…perhaps this will dissolve the walls around me as a writer? As a woman who wants to live writing…to rely on my writing, loving what I write and the process of it, to make a living that I love…and then some? To be true to me in my writing and to give to others…to finally learn how to direct it all?
I’m going to try it. I want to work with you in any capacity and within my means. ..can the daily reflections, your blog and The Art of Allowing help me (as priced on your website at $27/month) work at this time? (Of course they will, but again I am afraid it is too little too late, but! But, no, it is never too late and choosing right now to love myself IS already changing my future for the better and bringing me that much closer to my true dreams. I just have very limited finances and want to choose wisely.
Lisa
Aloha Lisa,
They surely will help. Especially Art of Allowing. It is a years worth of teaching videos. It is never to late to create an amzing life.
With love, Susan