Fog is fascinating to watch. It seems to have a life of it own. Fog changes the world as it embraces objects. Sound takes on a whole new dimension. There is an intimacy to noises, a depth that doesn’t exist in the absence of fog. If you stand in the house and look out at the fog it seems to only be out there yet it fills the room as well.
I remember driving along the coast of California on a foggy morning. The ocean faded in and out and cars seemed to come out of oblivion. I pulled over at an overlook and watched the fog roll in. There were beautiful flowers just on the other side of the guard rails and a squirrel darted out and chattered at me. I was mesmerized by the sounds of the ocean, the smell of the salt laden air and the beauty of the moment. The air was cool and moist. As I continued up the coast the sun began to burn off the fog and for the first time I could clearly see the beauty of the coast and the magnificent redwood.
Recently I revisited some of the profound fear I felt as a child. As I looked at my life as viewed through those fears it was like being immersed in a thick fog. Everything was distorted by the fear, all the beliefs and assumptions I made were colored by that perspective.
As I recapitulated my fear again I thought about the fog that special day in California. As I breathed in I thought of the sun and allowed it to burn off the fog of my fear. The amount of freedom I experience today is directly related to how willing I am to release my old emotions and see life anew. I had dipped into the well of my old fear in the past yet until the other day I was unwilling or unable to dive to the very bottom of the well and really pull the plug.
When I shinned the light of love on my doubts they dissolved. I realized fear is powerless without my agreement. Unless I feed my fear it dissolves into the nothingness from which it arises. The simple act of breathing mindfully is so freeing. As I exhale I release my fears and the old beliefs that feed them and as I breathe in I reconnect with the sea of love that surrounds me.
I can choose love or fear. One sets me free while the other immerses me in my limitations. Each event in my life is an invitation to either connect with my spirit or deepen my connection to my filter system. Which path I take is evident thought by thought, action by action.
I have an article about recapitulation on my web site if you would like to know more about it:
http://www.susangregg.com/questions_and_answers.htm
With love,
Susan
