Only the love is real


I am in the process of writing my next book. When I was talking to my agent she asked me to explain what I meant when I said only the love was real.

In the previous paragraph I had explained how all of our emotions were created by the story we tell ourselves. So, if all of our emotions are manufactured by our mind telling us a story, based on its assumptions about life, why is the love real?

What a great question. Why is the love real? Well the way I view life there are two varieties or definitions of love. There is fear based love (not real, just fear disguised as love) and love based love (very real, it is an expansive energy very closely related to the energy of creation).

Fear based love

Fear based love is why it is so easy to feel unlovable. Fear based love is very conditional. Many relationships are based on fear based love. I will love you as long as you treat me in a certain way.

The moment you break one of the fear based love rules you are no longer lovable. Fear based love isn’t really love at all. It is a trade agreement where the rules aren’t very clear.

If there are conditions on love it isn’t really love at all. Love expands, fear contracts.

Love based  love

Love based love is unconditional. Practicing unconditional love is wonderful spiritual practice and it does take practice.

We are so accustomed to judging that opening our hearts and our minds to love based love is often a totally new and often unexplored territory for our habitual way of thinking about life.

Once we allow that expansion to occur life is never the same, it is amazing how freeing that shift is.

So how far down the rabbit hole are you willing to go?

Are you willing to let love be your guide? Once I realized how different life could be I started asking myself these questions:

How can I see this through the eyes of love?

What would love do?

Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

The more I used those questions the easier it became to spot fear based love and let it go.

There are still times I want to be right. Moments when I want to get on my high horse (as my mom called it) and righteously ride into misery but they are further apart and are short lived.

Love, love, love

Are you ready for a new way of looking at life? Are you ready to retrain your mind and learn how to be really happy and immersed in love, light and laughter?

How do you think your life would be different if you let go of fear based love and filled it with love based love instead? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below!

With love based love,