Aloha everyone,

The sun just came out and one of my chickens is announcing she has just laid an egg by doing her chicken chant. I used to find their crowing slightly annoying, okay a lot annoying until one of my students suggested it was just their way of chanting. Now that I think of it as chicken chanting I actually like it. Funny how when we change what we tell ourselves about something how we feel about it changes as well.

I find Mother’s Day a bitter sweet holiday. My mom died almost twenty five years ago in a car accident. So each year as I honor her my feelings have changed drastically. I was going to post a picture of her when I realized I don’t have any good pictures of her. She hated photographs so she would tear up any pictures she was in. My mom had a persona she tried to keep up most of her life. When I was a child we moved from NYC to a very tiny town in Vermont. She hated living there and claimed the people in town called her the rich bitch on the hill.

She tried to act like a tough old broad but at heart she was a softy. She was a poet and unbeknownst to me, quietly helped lots of people. She embodied the idea of random acts of kindness and I had no idea. Years ago I remember reading something to the effect that if you got caught doing an act of kindness it didn’t count. When she died I followed her wishes of immediately getting rid of all her underwear (go figure) and having her cremated.

The funeral director was my best friend’s brother, he suggested we have a memorial service so we did. I called all her friends from New York and most of them came. I was totally shocked when I showed up at the church. It was full to overflowing. There was standing room only. One by one people came over to me and told me about all the wonderful things my mother had done. All acts of kindness that certainly didn’t fit into her persona. I got to meet a woman I never knew existed before her death.

I planted a red rose bush not too long ago and it is just starting to bloom. Red roses were her favorite. While looking for a photo I found one of her poems. I am sure I read it before but somehow today it meant a lot more to me. She only had the courage to submit a few poems and was never published. In her own words this is one was one of her favorites.

Happy Mother’s Day mom. Your poem was finally published!

Susan

The bright blue eyes,
The wind blown hair,
The small white teeth are almost here,
The slamming door,
The childish voice
All those make my heart rejoice.

She’s home!!
And all but bursting with the news –
That a puffy white cloud led her way
And some small dog was made to stay
Beside her happy smiling self
This little girl that’s two-thirds elf.

Grayce Gregg

With love and aloha,
Susan – with the bright blue eyes