Is happiness having a job, a relationship, a beautiful home, traveling, staying home, lots of friends, more time for yourself, a new car, freedom, more structure? To be happy or not to be happy, that is the question. It helps to realize that we all define happiness in a different way.

When I do counseling for couples I ask each person to write a list of how they feel loved and then exchange it. One couple I worked with had a disagreement about how coming home should look. The wife wanted to talk about the day while the husband just wanted some alone time. Neither person was willing to compromise so eventually they went through a rather messy divorce. I always find it sad to change love into anger simply by not listening. So often we would rather be right than happy.

Happiness is always just a thought away

There is no ultimate definition for happiness. In my hippie days I went to Jamaica. I had very little money and traveled around using the local buses and staying with people in huts. To the Jamaicans I was rich. According to my mind I wasn’t because I had no idea how I was going to pay the bills when I got home. Happiness and wealth is relative.

So how do you create a happy life? It is really easy. No matter what is happening in your life tell yourself a story about the event that generates happiness. Simple but often not easy. Like I said, we would often rather hold onto our perspective, our old, limited way of seeing things rather than be happy.

Change your perspective change your life

Toltec tradition has three masteries: Awareness, transformation and intent. You really can be as happy as you make up your mind to be happy. Change your awareness, set your intent to be happy and then transform your thinking.

If you look at the image to the left you can see a young woman with a hat or a very wrinkled old woman. It is a matter of perspective. The same thing is true in life. We can see it through the eyes of love and have a joyous, happy experience or see through judgment and fear and create misery, pain and suffering.

Spiritual practices take practice. Decide to practice seeing life as a perfect opportunity to either deepen your connection to your spirit and be happy or reaffirm your limiting belief system and be not so happy.

The choice is yours moment by moment and you can see your choice clearly by observing what you are feeling emotionally. Changing your perspective is so much easier than changing the world. The paradox is as you change your perspective  your life changes too.

I will soon be opening my apprentice class again, so watch for the announcement. It is a powerful way to change your perspective.

With love and aloha,

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