Help is a Moment Away

Today I’m going to tell you the story of how I broke free from my past, unhappy life, learned how to be find and create true happiness in a single moment and how you can do the same thing.

I remember, long ago and far away, but almost as if it were yesterday, the moment I realized I was missing something. And it was something big!

I knew that my life was not the life I wanted. As far as I was concerned, it was broken.

And I also knew that what I was doing wasn’t working, and it was never going to work unless I drastically changed what I was doing.

My story is actually a very common one—maybe you can relate.

For years I was a loner. I didn’t believe in depending on anyone, or anything. I thought I could figure life out by myself, and I spent many years trying to do just that.

But at one point it dawned on me that every single unhappy day I stumbled through was almost identical to the previous one and things just weren’t improving like the books said they should. Notice that word, should.

It was then I decided it was time to really change—to finally see if I could figure out how to have a happier life. But how to do it was the constant question!

At first I read books on spirituality and applied myself randomly to the task of finding joy and peace.

I would spend a lot of time thinking about how great it would be to have a better life and I’d be excited about it for a while.

But soon I’d lose the eagerness for enlightenment that I’d had and I’d put the books down and find myself back where I started: depressed and nowhere closer to my spiritual goals.

Even though I knew I really wanted to be happier and stop worrying so much, doing this spiritual thing by myself was hard.

I couldn’t stay focused and disciplined and it meant I didn’t make any real progress. My choice to go it alone didn’t work very well at all.

Certainly, I did make some small progress over the years, and life did improve a bit as my spiritual journey became sort of a priority, but it was taking forever and that too was a reason for me to feel depressed about it all.

A turning point came when one of my first teachers said, “…it’s hard to return to being one when you’re doing it alone.” The way she said it made me laugh and I got it.


The Secret is Giving Up

I know I can be stubborn about some things and perhaps I felt I was close and just needed one more book, or recording, or meditation session….

But in the end, it was when I humbled myself and let go of trying to do it all on my own that things changed. When I finally asked for help, my life really flipped to the light side and things started to take off in every area.

The full story is for another time, but, suffice it to say, one magical day I stumbled into the little group led by Don Miguel Ruiz’s mother and later by Don Miguel himself and that was the day my new life began.

It was such a relief to realize I could finally get answers to all the questions I had been storing in the back of my mind.

When we can look outside ourselves and ask to be seen by another, our real spiritual practice truly begins. We finally get to see the things we couldn’t see because those invisible things are reflected back to us by the other person.

This is the great gift that comes with coaching or mentoring.

When we work with someone who can show us the potholes and rough spots on our path and encourage us to stick with a practice that may be painful at times, this is when we can really make the progress we’ve always wanted.

Ultimately, becoming one with your essence is about learning who you are and it’s a journey only you can take. But a life coach is a temporary companion on your journey toward self realization who can act as a compassionate guide for you.

The strange thing is, having the assistance of a loving guide makes your solitary journey so much easier. In fact, in some ways, it’s the one thing that can make it possible at all, especially if you’ve already hit a wall.

Our limiting beliefs are invisible because they form our version of reality. It’s the old story of the fish who doesn’t know it lives in water.

When I first started studying with Don Miguel the classes were taught in Spanish. I didn’t speak Spanish, but I knew that this group was where I belonged. It may sound strange, but even though I couldn’t understand the language, my life began to change.

My studies with Don Miguel helped me feel safe enough to embrace change. I soon felt confident in taking the next solitary steps on my journey because I knew I had someone who supported me if something just didn’t work like I expected. And I could always ask questions when things DID get confusing or didn’t make sense.

Eventually, my work with Don Miguel became a very powerful key to my spiritual progress and ultimately helped me achieve my transformation from depressed and unhappy to grateful and thrilled to be alive.

Yes, I still had to do it by myself and yes there were always painful and challenging days, but having a guide meant I was no longer alone when I was by myself, if that makes sense.

Your Filter System is Invisible—To You

I call our belief structure our filter system for a reason. Our beliefs, agreements, assumptions and attitudes filter and distort our experience of reality. We never actually see reality. What we see is our filter system and we call it reality.

Personal freedom arrives in our lives only when we release our filter system, but seeing our own filter system is almost impossible when we try to do it alone. But it’s a lot easier for us to see someone else’s filter system, and that’s why we choose to work with a mentor, or coach.

Together we can see the problems and walls that are in your way. As humans, it’s a great service that we can do for each other to help one another see what we can’t see on our own, namely, our filter system and the ways it hides reality from us.

Of course, a coach also supports you when you forget your goals and wonder where to turn. There’s nothing like the accountability that comes with knowing someone else knows what your goals and promises to yourself are.

So, whether you work with me, or someone else, I really encourage you to avoid the lone ranger routine. Seek out that trusted person you know you could ask for help and go ask!

Asking for help may just be the one key to transforming your life into the bright and joyful experience you’ve wished it could be.

Go find someone who will support you in creating a life as wonderful as it can possibly be.

With love and aloha,

P.S. I am currently accepting a few spots in my Transformational Coaching program and if you’re ready for this level of personal mentorship, I encourage you to apply. I can’t wait to work with you as we help you see your filter system and find your transformational path to happiness and joy!

Click here to find out more about the coaching/mentoring program intensive…

With much love and aloha,


photo credit: h.koppdelaney via photopin cc