My dad died Tuesday. At times he was a difficult man. I used to have a story about my childhood that was filled with abuse and violence. Then I began my spiritual journey. I worked the twelve steps of a 12 step program and I used the tools of awareness, transformation and intent as I moved beyond forgiveness and into gratitude, wonder and awe. Life is an amazing journey in which we get to see our filter system and if we choose to pursue personal freedom let it all go and step into love.
Life is and then we tell ourselves a story. As I sat at my dad’s bedside watching him slowly transition I had many insights. Perhaps the most profound was the fact that all he ever wanted was to be loved.
What a gift it was to be able to see my dad as he truly was rather than how I had learned to think he was. He wasn’t a cruel man but rather a gentle loving soul struggling to live in this crazy world. He never had the gift of realizing life is an illusion and that all we ever experienced is our filter system until the very end.
I am so grateful I can now see my dad’s love and his gentle spirit and totally release all my stories about anger and abuse. Perhaps next time I want to react it will be far easier to respond from love instead. Life is too precious a gift to hold onto stories about the past that only hurt us. It really is never too late to have a happy childhood.
My childhood sent me in search of freedom and the ability to love and it taught me to find true happiness instead of settling for the illusion. That is an incredibly precious gift and I thank you dad for helping me find it!
With love, gratitude, happiness, joy and sadness,