Aloha everyone,
My dad died Tuesday. At times he was a difficult man. I used to have a story about my childhood that was filled with abuse and violence. Then I began my spiritual journey. I worked the twelve steps of a 12 step program and I used the tools of awareness, transformation and intent as I moved beyond forgiveness and into gratitude, wonder and awe. Life is an amazing journey in which we get to see our filter system and if we choose to pursue personal freedom let it all go and step into love.
Life is and then we tell ourselves a story. As I sat at my dad’s bedside watching him slowly transition I had many insights. Perhaps the most profound was the fact that all he ever wanted was to be loved.
What a gift it was to be able to see my dad as he truly was rather than how I had learned to think he was. He wasn’t a cruel man but rather a gentle loving soul struggling to live in this crazy world. He never had the gift of realizing life is an illusion and that all we ever experienced is our filter system until the very end.
I am so grateful I can now see my dad’s love and his gentle spirit and totally release all my stories about anger and abuse. Perhaps next time I want to react it will be far easier to respond from love instead. Life is too precious a gift to hold onto stories about the past that only hurt us. It really is never too late to have a happy childhood.
My childhood sent me in search of freedom and the ability to love and it taught me to find true happiness instead of settling for the illusion. That is an incredibly precious gift and I thank you dad for helping me find it!
With love, gratitude, happiness, joy and sadness,
Susan
I’m sorry for the loss of your father, but that is so wonderful and amazing that you were able to make peace with him, and let go of the pain from your childhood. I think that it takes time to get to a place where you can let go of anger, and it is great that you could do that before your father passed.
Sending much love:)
Susan…Sending love and gratitude to you for sharing these thoughts about your journey of healing with your dad. What a privlege to be with him and share his transition. Blessings, Kate
I am really sorry for your loss Susan, but as you have said he is in another address right now. Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey with him.
Love,
What a beautifully written post. I had not been to your site before today but I’m so glad I discovered it and was able to read about the emotions you felt and shared.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is nice that there was time and the opportunity to have that happy childhood.
Blessings
What a beautiful gift to have received – in your father. When my Grandmother was told she was dying and that it wouldn’t be long I remember thinking to myself what a gift we had been given not just once, but twice. We knew well in advance that my Grandfather was dying, as the cancer had taken two long drawn out years to wreak havoc throughout his poor defenseless and frail body. So, when my Mother’s turn came the beautiful thing was that she had nothing to change. From the day she heard the words, “You’re dying” she kept on living the same way she’d always lived. Because she had lived her life intentionally all along. She’d loved the people in her life completely. She’d tended to the things and people she needed to. She hadn’t left things unsaid. She didn’t have any loose strings to tie up before leaving.
After their deaths, I set a goal for myself. That goal was to live intentionally so that when I found myself at the end of my life I would have no regrets. I want to live my life so that when I reach my last day on this earth I will know that I have lived completely the life I was made for. I wish the same for everyone I know and love because to have lived authentically and purposefully, with strength of faith, character and integrity, a life without fear or compromise is the only true way to live.
I love the written word and one of my favorite quotes comes from Carl Baird….”Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start now and make a brand-new ending.” So here’s to writing brand-new endings each and every day and taking this, our one and only life, and making it count for something of worth. Something real. Something lasting.
Have a great day my friend!