Or are you still attached to the old story?
We swim in a sea of love yet we can still feel unloved, unlovable and simply not appreciated. Years ago I wrote a blog post on feeling unloved and unlovable. Lately I have been getting comments from people who are obviously in pain yet at some level want to argue for their right to be miserable. I remember living like that for a number of years.
Of course, they don’t see it that way, and neither did I. As one of my mentors used to tell me, “ You have the ability to snatch failure from the jaws of success.”
I had negative thinking down to a science and thought positive thinking was just another way people judged me. They didn’t understand I was unloved and unlovable! I had a right to wallow in my misery. I didn’t think of it that way, I thought they just didn’t understand, they hadn’t had my childhood or got dumped by my lover, or whatever the excuse was that week
Believe me I know how it feels to be in a very dark, hopeless and loveless place. I also now know that dark, lonely place was an illusion or delusion created by my habitual thoughts. Just like any muscle in our body we can train it or in the case of our thinking we can retrain it.
Your brain is totally trainable
Neuroplasticity refers to the ability to change neural pathways. We create channels (neural pathways) that our thoughts habitually follow and those pathways can be changed. All of our emotions are created by our thoughts and what we have associated to words, concepts and situations. For example: we can have love associated with pain, danger or a feeling of lack. Change that and your life changes. It is simple and it does take a bit of practice, willingness and the desire to feel differently.
And believe me it isn’t just positive thinking
Changing the way you think is literally creating new neural pathways and in doing that your habitual thoughts begin to change. Change your thoughts and you WILL change the way you feel. Keep reinforcing your old thoughts by repeating the sad story of what was and your life will be more of the same old same old.
All the same events happened in my life I just see them very differently. I am in the process of writing a book about using crisis as a doorway to happiness, freedom and joy. I now see some of the biggest dramas in my life as an opportunity to see life differently and make a course correction. Once I did that as I am fond of saying my life became full of magic and miracles.
One of my favorite signature lines is:
“This stuff seems like brainwashing,” said the student.
“Your brain needs washing,” replied the teacher.
Ready to wash your brain and live a life filled with love, happiness, joy and success in all areas of your life?
All of that is just a thought away, so learn to think those thoughts today! As the picture above illustrates: Go through the tunnel, step out into the light and stand beside the wishing well where all your dreams can come true.
With love and aloha,
Susan
Check out my latest book on Amazon ….
Thank you for this. I have been working on this very thing. Some moments all is well then that ego mind sneaks in. I look at it as a continuing work in progress and have learned to not judge myself to harshly when I slide back a step or two. I appreciate your help on this journey.
Hi Cheri,
Loving support is a wonderful thing and with a little practice we can be our own cheering section. Helping people have a passionate love affair with themselves is one of my favorite things. We never get things done and we certainly can learn to enjoy the process. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
With love, Susan
I figured out years ago that I am responsible for all good things that come into my life. A choice about seeing the positive in all situations. Then tragedy strikes! Losing my brother was always the worst thing that I knew from the time I was small would be the worst thing that could ever happen. My life would always be fine as long as he was here, then he was gone! I crumbled. I tried to remain positive, what can I do to help the rest of the family? Nothing. I couldn’t help myself let alone anyone else. I never blamed God as a lot of people will do, look for someone to blame for our misery. I know that doesn’t work. So I just stumbled through the next 2 years until I had a terrible cancer diagnosis. Again no blame or really even a question of why, just get through it. I met so many wonderful drs, people and learned a lot. It was like medical school without actually going to school. I have experienced losing a leg, and chemo and losing a lot of both lungs. But I am still going strong and appreciating the journey. This also allowed me to connect with Susan. I believe my angels took my hand and led me through all this but the lesson was mine and I am still grateful for everything. Regardless of the ultimate outcome I am enjoying! Not sure this is what this blog is for but if it helps one person look at their own personal journey in a more positive way it is worth looking back on. That is something else that I make it a habit not to do, look back. I don’t dwell on negative and I remember happy times, but always look forward to tomorrow.
Hi Ann,
Nice to see you here. I find trusting the process is an amazing gift we can give ourselves. Especially when we don’t like the process right now. When I do that my life just keeps getting more magical.
With love and aloha, Susan
So how are we supposed to do this? I don’t have any support. If I try to talk to someone about how I feel I get told I’m stupid, crazy and the worst—that my feelings make others upset and by having them or expreessing them I am being mean and selfish!! Like I want to feel this way. I want to stop feeling this way but I don’t know howA
The only support you really need to feel loved is a mirror, some willingness and yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself “I love you!” If you are willing that act done several times on a daily basis will change your life completely! I know it did mine and now I teach people how to love themselves.
It really works – sending you LOTS of lvoe,
Susan
I’ve been going on the self better journey for 2 years now and I’m starting to not like myself I’m not as strong as I thought I’m not as loving as I thought and attention drives me. I’m always sad and external things tend to make me momentarily happy. I’ve realized I’ve been in a love affair with sasdness and depression and i. We’d to train my mind differently. I negatively think about things and then get upset that I think these things I need and want help. Susan how can we connect
Part of loving yourself is loving the negative comments and just consciously choosing to let them go – judgment is fear based so part of loving yourself is releasing your fear. You can sign up for a complimentary Loving Life session by going to this link https://drsusangregg.as.me/?appointmentType=385357