I was talking to my agent the other day about my latest book (more to be revealed about that soon). She asked me what drove people to finally say enough and seek a solution. What would make people want to buy a book about living from joy?I had a variety of reason: emotional pain, not feeling loved, loss of a loved one or a job or a dream or ….
And then I had a thought. Ask. So I am asking you today.
I’d love to hear your answer because then I could write more clearly about the solutions. I might even make a video, do a guided meditation or write a book all about the solution. Just for you!
So put on your thinking cap, dig deep and post away in the comment section.
Your feedback might just make for a more awesome 2014!!!
What was your enough?
What finally made you start seeking?
What was your pain index before you finally said enough?
Were you moving away from pain or toward a dream or a vision?
What was the pain caused by?
I really really want to know.
With love and excitement about reading your responses,
Susan
And I say thanks in advance!!
Aloha and happy to leave my response to when is it enough? I have suffered tremendous losses the last few years, the passing of my mother, my father, a brother, a 21 year old grandson to suicide, a marriage, a wonderful life in Kona, my home and most of my possessions of many years, coupled with facing two aggressive cancers (breast and ovarian). The grieving I have endured seemed to have the words “excruciatingly forever” attached to it. I believe in grieving and feeling losses fully (that’s what makes us compassionate and empathetic humans). There does come a point when “geez, enough is enough, God,” and it’s time to move on, but… not until we move through whatever we are experiencing. We can pretend we live in joy and happiness but we aren’t really. Otherwise we are just living in another world called DENIAL. The feelings are still there under the surface but just not felt or acknowledged. As I continued to feel every raw emotion, I finally came to the place where I could say, I am done, time to reach out for the next chapters ahead reach out and embrace joy. Embracing new joys doesn’t alter the fact that I won’t again experience pain and loss. But what I feel now is a deeper stronger acceptance to whatever life sends my way. I love the exuberance of joyfulness and the warmth and excitement it can bring, but I have learned to embrace “other” emotions that don’t feel so good and downright suck. That for me is true JOY. Embracing Life’s Allness. Thanks. A great book coming.
Leslie thanks for your willingness to share. You really summed joy up well – embracing life’s allness. I realized a number of years ago I could see life through the eyes of fear or love. When I look through the eyes of love judgment melts away and I can see the wonder in even the ‘hard times.’
Sending you lots of warm hugs and love, Susan
I worked in a healthcare position where 99% of my patients died. I learned to grieve each life but also collectively about every 5 deaths. When my grief became too big to serve anyone – me, my patients or organization – I decided it was best to leave the position. It was hard because I truly loved what I did, but one cannot exhaust everything and be effective in life or work. This is the criteria I still use for my personal losses and job changes – “when it doesn’t serve anyone”. I continue to go on in life with love, finding new ways to serve myself and others. And help from friends & family sure is wonderful – thank you for being one of those, Susan!
Thanks Nancy … you are a gift. You share your love so freely. One of the greatest gifts I ever had was to hold my dad’s hand as he left his cranky old body.
With love, Susan
I think I’ve always been fueled more by vision than by pain. Perhaps it was a vague recollection of ‘Home’ that has driven my search beneath the surface for real answers. At a very early age, things just did not add up; meaning the answers I received to my queries, sounded like make believe fairy-tales, to my inquisitive young mind. I learned to ‘go along’ with what my parents, teachers and clerics taught, yet somehow felt it was all in the same category as Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. By the time I finished high-school, I was dead-set on the idea of moving back to Hawaii to get away from the pressure of pretending to be a ‘believer’… and was told ‘no’. That was the moment for me. I felt my very survival depended upon getting away from this make believe world around me; so in desperation, resorted to what amounted to blackmail, pulling out all the stops for my escape into freedom. That was nearly 50 years ago, and I never regretted it. I feel I must amend my opening statement; realizing that the pain of pretense, was more than I could bear.
Thanks Audrey – I am glad you escaped to freedom!
With aloha, Susan
What was your enough?
Lack of pleasing sex and intimacy (true soul/heart connection) w trust.
What finally made you start seeking?
I had the mid-life (christening, not crisis) “big boo hoo” where I cried out to the God I knew at that time (fundamental, literal, authoritarian Christianity) that I couldn’t take it any more even though I had tried so hard to live according to His Word. About one week later I started doing art on computer, wrote out dream goals, started reading think n grow books. I kept “repenting” of my lust for other men. Then I realized, I didn’t want to repent– I was too lonely. Wasn’t looking fwd to 16 more years of the same.
What was your pain index before you finally said enough?
I thought pain was my “cross to bear”. That anyone could say they loved God when things were going well but a person who was really filled w the Holy Spirit would rejoice even in pain. Guess what? No surprise–I created a lot of pain. It was actually jealousy that drove me more to say, Enough! I wanted to just be happy like other people that it didn’t seem that hard for whether they were Christian or not.
Were you moving away from pain or toward a dream or a vision?
I had noooooo idea the journey I was about to take or the explosion I was about to make. (It is all LOVE.). The biggest factor was that…here it goes…are you listening…this is it…have I got your total attention?….
I never FELT love for myself.
I never FELT love for myself.
I never FELT love for myself.
When I started to FEEL love for myself (which was an act of the will at first). Everything and I mean EVERYTHING changed. I don’t even have the same DNA now.
What was the pain caused by?
I didn’t FEEL love for myself. It was at the root of all the ways constriction/contraction showed up in my life. I purposefully had shut down my heart siting scripture, “the heart is deceitful above all things; desperately wicked, who can know it” as well as other scriptures about being led astray by passions and sowing to the flesh.
I thought I was supposed to love J.O.Y: Jesus. Others. Yourself. Now I AM LOVE.
Thanks Anne for you heart felt response. Loving ourselves passionately is the gift life brings to us and I believe that was the heart of Jesus true message. You are indeed love.
Lovingly, Susan
Nine years ago while having dinner w/ a childhood friend and after many years of struggling w/ a life-threatening illness, he said to me “get better for all the reasons you have been, but also get better for me; even though we don’t see each other often (we live on opposite sides of the country), sometimes just knowing you are on the planet makes all the difference for me.” It was like a window shade snapped up and all became crystal clear; it gave me the strength to say “enough” to all the unhealthy/toxic people/situations I had allowed in my life and to step away. Sometimes all we need is to know we are seen and heard and that we matter. Life changed instantly in that moment (for the better). I make it a point to let people in my life know I hear and see them and that they matter, and even just asking the grocery store clerk how his/her day is going and then being present for them. “Enough” is very empowering and I believe we can give that gift to each other through validating one another’s existence, even if in just one moment.
Thanks Gigi. Acknowledgment is a biggy. That is why one of the first exercises I have people do is work with the mirror and use it to see and love themselves. That friend certainly gave you a huge gift and I am glad you are playing it forward.
Smiling with joy, Susan
Hi Susan! My enough was actually not very sudden n I was in a good position that time. However I kept feeling empty inside n felt that I needed my mind to just calm down n stop the chatter. Its been 3 yrs approx since then n I am still on the journey. I have become more aware but not fully. I still sometimes have pangs of disbelief, but I know there is no going back. I am going to get my peace n love while on the journey… 🙂
Peace is an awesome state of mind. Just fill yourself with love and joy and feel the peace grow.
With love, Susan
All my life was empty, I didn’t have a solid foundation to stand on, to propel from. I was like the little child lost in the big city following misdirection’s from church, society, the media and ending up in the middle of nowhere. I searched and searched everywhere, I didn’t leave any stone unturned. Feeling unworthy, not good enough all my life I found an article about self-esteem and self-image it made sense but they didn’t explain how much of a self-esteem should I shot for.
From 0 to 10
0 = Worthless piece of crap
10 = God
Although there is still some resistance in my guts accepting that I am God (Love) that the whole universe’s power is within me to create whatever I want by just vibing as if I already have what I want. It is so liberating to never feel powerless again. Knowing that all I have is now and now I can take any direction I want regardless of my past because it is irrelevant. I am still chewing on it but I’ll get it, as one of the esoteric masters said: Shut the TV off and live forever happy.
Just love yourself. Look in the mirror and see the perfection.
With love, Susan
Hi Susan, and a Very Happy New Year to You! I’ve said enough is enough many times in my life and initiated transformation and change in my life. For me it’s about the journey, growth and personal development. Having said that, this period of transformation and change has been very difficult, perhaps it’s being 60 and thinking that by now I’d be more settled! I have recognised a thread throughout my life which is about helping others often to the point of self-sacrifice. I have the answer, sell the business, concentrate on painting, run meditative painting workshops and expand my mediation group. It appears very simple but there is the business to sell that I rescued from my partner who went bankrupt 5 years ago. There is his reluctance to let go of that which seems to define his existence and his reluctance to want to buy the business back? Perhaps I was a fool to be entangled with someone who is so irresponsible with money including my money? Perhaps it’s the end of another relationship or perhaps not, who knows and there is a sadness around that admission after several relationships which seem to have panned out in similar fashion! Perhaps I’m independent because I feel responsible for my life and co-dependency is not a good basis for a relationship. Perhaps by letting go again and trusting the universe to show me such wonders is the only reality and all this is just a reminder because I’ve got lost again! Strangely amusing in some ways.
Hi Gillian, I miss your posts on Art of Allowing. You know you have access to the material for life. Maybe go back and watch some of the videos. I think you may find some of your answers there.
With love and aloha, Susan
Oh thank you Susan for reminding me and yes I’ll go back on and take a look as I feel ready for another journey! Love and Blessing, Gillian
I started “searching” when I was 13. My pain (which was far more substantial than I was aware of) was due to two things, that I can identify. One is being queer in a world (that at that time, for me) had no avenue of expression and was deemed as vile and sinful by all whom I held dear. The other was unknown to me at that time. My searching “turned it up”. What I found was massive fear and pain loops from both “in womb” and “post birth” memories and feelings associated with being adopted. I have studied many religions and philosophies. I’ve read hundreds of books. The books by Nancy Verier are divine in dealing specifically with adoption issues. I found my “truth” and rebirth, my understanding, in the world of the Toltec. By the time I was 14 I had discovered Nagualism and the Toltec path. Across the 42 years since, I have been opening up to the “truth behind the curtain” (what you so wonderfully call “The Filter System”. During my college years through my extensive use of meditation and self-hypnosis I became aware of the “externalness” of a great portion of my mentality and feelings. When the Toltec path finally revealed to me the “nature” of the source of the “foreign installation”, my true healing began. Because I found your version of, and tactics for clearing and superceding “the filter system”, great clarity and freedom have flourished for me. Anyone I know who shows interest in healing or growing, I will always recommend “The Toltec Way” to them as a starting place on their pathway to freedom. Your works and the works of Lujan Matus, have combined to create a synergistic rescue for me, and given me the tools to use my heart as my filter system and primary organ of perception. I thank you, Susan, from the bottom and top of my heart. I look forward with baited breath for your next release!
Glad you are waited with baited breath for my next book and I am glad you are loving yourself more and more. Isn’t it wonderful that society is letting go of their judgments about people being gay. Love is love.
Thanks for sharing your enough Michael.
With love and sending you a big hug, Susan
I was so tired of being afraid. The loss of a parent at a young age, sexual abuse all of my childhood,illness, trying to please others, hating my weaknesses. I spent years looking for something, anything to make me feel loved. Fear ruled my life and I felt if things didn’t change I would not make it out alive. The journey to Love has been full of miracles and setbacks but I have found that if I let go and trust, God will provide all I need to go the next leg of the journey. I do jinx myself from time to time by stopping and heading off in another direction right when something joyous is waiting for me right around the corner. Love, Love Love! I crave it with every cell in my body. Thank you Susan for so patiently and lovingly guiding us along this path called life.
What a gift shifting your point of creation from fear to love is … As John Lennon said, All there is is love.
Letting go and trusting the process is an awesome gift – thanks for sharing Reens.
Sending lots of love, Susan
Dear Susan;
Boy I am sure looking forward to your new book!
I haven’t been in touch for way too long, although your Daily Reflections are always right on time for me…
I seriously started seeking something “more” about 6 years ago while in a draining relationship. It started with a simple trip to the library for something fun to read, (I was into fiction with cats involved of course, meow now)… anyways, I was browsing the section of mystery stories, and came across your book The Toltec Way… It seemed to be a sign that it was there in an odd spot so I of course rented it. I found something in that book that brought me to the realization this was just what I needed!, that the only way to change what was in my life at the time was to embrace what you were offering with your stories and teachings! I was feeling excited about how it was making me feel inside and did the some of the exercises… but read every single word, then got to the part that you say not to read any further until you have worked on the first part!!! (the cat in me got the better of me there ha ha ha) I read on and to my surprise and pleasure I was understanding what you meant in so many ways…. Then the greatest part was finding out at the end of the book that there was a way to contact you personally, I did and started your Mastering Life Course soon after… Great stuff.
I followed through on everything I was taught, learned how meditation was so healing and pleasing. Used the tools most all the time and stayed with it…. EVERYTHING changed for me and I did find freedom in my heart again….
Then here I am after all that magic in about the same spot I was in back then, maybe even worse in some ways… because I got off my path and lost my way and I saw it happening! I was not happy with the way my life was going with this new man, in so many dang ways, and yet I settled (again) and hung in there for way too long, it feels like the wrong turn kinda thing…
When I finally said enough again was just this past week after Christmas. I got a really, really bad cold ~ all the terrible symptoms you can think of I had… every night feverish sleepless hours, my mind would not shut down… I was beating myself up in so many ways for the choices that I have made in my life that hurt me ~ all these things came to the surface in my delirium ~ I felt crushed, and sick at heart… the night my fever was at its worst I just let myself be with what I was feeling and thank God, remembering the things I had learned and how to work through them, I am sure I had a great epiphany, and after midnight sometime on New Year’s morning, my fever broke. I felt a great relief and sense of peace and love that I haven’t felt for myself in quite some time. I still don’t feel too well, but I am content inside my heart because I believe I am going to make this new year one that I will grow again, be more healthy and find an abundance of love right in my own heart…. yea!
I sure am long winded and corney, I know…. I just know I am going to do something wonderful this year and it all starts now. Again!!!
Love & “air hugs”
Terry