By Barrie Davenport
I believed if I was compliant and accommodating, I could keep everyone happy and prevent the wackadoodle behavior going on around me. On a deeper level, I was afraid of being emotionally abandoned. When my efforts didn’t work, I tried harder. Needless to say, over time I trained myself to stuff down my own feelings for fear I’d rock the boat further.
In certain areas of my life, this pattern continued into young adulthood. During confrontational situations, I either backed down quickly or avoided engaging altogether. Although I was “rewarded” for being a pleaser, eventually my self-esteem began to waiver. I had false beliefs that I wasn’t good enough if I didn’t comply to the wants and needs of others. This mindset was unsustainable and soul crushing.