We swim in a sea of love yet we can still feel unloved, unlovable and simply not appreciated. Years ago I wrote a blog post on feeling unloved and unlovable. Lately I have been getting comments from people who are obviously in pain yet at some level want to argue for their right to be miserable. I remember living like that for a number of years.
Of course, they don’t see it that way, and neither did I. As one of my mentors used to tell me, “ You have the ability to snatch failure from the jaws of success.”
I had negative thinking down to a science and thought positive thinking was just another way people judged me. They didn’t understand I was unloved and unlovable! I had a right to wallow in my misery. I didn’t think of it that way, I thought they just didn’t understand, they hadn’t had my childhood or got dumped by my lover, or whatever the excuse was that week
Believe me I know how it feels to be in a very dark, hopeless and loveless place. I also now know that dark, lonely place was an illusion or delusion created by my habitual thoughts. Just like any muscle in our body we can train it or in the case of our thinking we can retrain it.
Your brain is totally trainable
Neuroplasticity refers to the ability to change neural pathways. We create channels (neural pathways) that our thoughts habitually follow and those pathways can be changed. All of our emotions are created by our thoughts and what we have associated to words, concepts and situations. For example: we can have love associated with pain, danger or a feeling of lack. Change that and your life changes. It is simple and it does take a bit of practice, willingness and the desire to feel differently.
And believe me it isn’t just positive thinking
Changing the way you think is literally creating new neural pathways and in doing that your habitual thoughts begin to change. Change your thoughts and you WILL change the way you feel. Keep reinforcing your old thoughts by repeating the sad story of what was and your life will be more of the same old same old.
All the same events happened in my life I just see them very differently. I am in the process of writing a book about using crisis as a doorway to happiness, freedom and joy. I now see some of the biggest dramas in my life as an opportunity to see life differently and make a course correction. Once I did that as I am fond of saying my life became full of magic and miracles.
One of my favorite signature lines is:
“This stuff seems like brainwashing,” said the student.
“Your brain needs washing,” replied the teacher.
Ready to wash your brain and live a life filled with love, happiness, joy and success in all areas of your life?
All of that is just a thought away, so learn to think those thoughts today! As the picture above illustrates: Go through the tunnel, step out into the light and stand beside the wishing well where all your dreams can come true.
With love and aloha,
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